Once is Not Enough

What is the Insecure Writers Support Group?

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! We’ve got your back!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group from the amazing links below and connect with your fellow writers - aim for a dozen new people each time.


Be sure to thank our wonderful cohosts today! Mark Koopmans, Joylene Nowell Butler,Elsie, and Lisa Buie-Collard! Please stop by their sites and thank them for helping today. 

     Throw a Shot of Vodka in          That Lemonade, 
        & Get Mad as Hell!

It's so easy to tell someone that when life gives them lemons they should just make lemonade, or that each door closing signals another's opening. I've said these things countless times myself.  However, if you're the person struggling to survive some of the really life-altering, heart-wrenching trials life can crush you with, you know it's just not that simple.  Not always.

I'm just one struggling writer, trying to learn to live with the unexcepted and agonizing loss of her soulmate, a loss so bone-chilling debilitating just getting to sleep or out of bed if I have slept can sap all my energy. Some days. Too many days.

Nothing prepared me for this, not the death of my grandparents or even my parents. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? Maybe. But not before it brings you to your knees. It's been nearly 8 months and only now do I feel both the need and ability to write about it. The reason I chose this venue is that I have been struggling lately with how to make myself write again. To be more specific, how can I write again about  life and love and character's problems and choices as if they have any control over their lives? 

But then it dawned on me: the best plots center around protagonists who have lost control of their lives, through fault or no fault of their own. The plot twists and turns are based on how they deal with it, how they manage to survive and carry on, even overcome.

People who grieve or who are experiencing anxiety become the world's best procrastinators. It doesn't matter how they manage their emotions, they procrastinate. Some throw themselves into something else, such as work, making sure they are too busy to think about their loss, and thus, they believe, not feeling pain. They will deal with it later, when it won't hurt as much.  Of course, it's more likely that later on their therapist will have to explain to them why repression didn't work. 

Others, like myself, find it difficult to pretend everything is normal, that life just keeps on keeping on. I have to work, but I busy myself with editing, and reading the work of others. But it's because I do read so much, every single day, that I consider and evaluate how characters "people" deal with their problems and with their interaction with other characters. 

Grief and anxiety is different for everyone. Someone told me that I must give myself permission to be sad, and lonely and angry or whatever else I feel. They were so right. And now, I intend to absolutely torture and stack obstacles in the way of my characters and create antagonists that could turn a nun into a serial killer.  Hm, there's a story line in there somewhere. I can do whatever I want to my characters because I have given myself permission to feel and act out all the emotions I desire--but we all know I can only do that in the magical worlds I create where true love endures and triumphs against all odds.  One day at a time, life just keeps on keeping on, and it's surprising how clearly you see it when you are on your knees looking up.