I'm currently working on one of my adult series YA spin-off novels.  Since the main character has a love interest (of course), I have been working on softening the physical contact while escalating the emotional angst and indicision. The intended audience is toward older teens and twentyish readers, but it still made me really think about how much sex I should include and how explicit the horizontal scenes should get.  Yes, yes, I need additional decisions and indecisiveness associated with my writing.  I do know though that anyone who decides to write romance in their novels must make this decision up front.

If it's a straight-forward romance, this decision must be made so you can target a line (i.e. audience with certain expectations). But even if your novel doesn't focus on the romance exclusively, you need to make a decision. It makes a difference to how you want to market your work, and even how far you are willing to go publicly...haha. Is it a sweet romance where there is no sex, no mention of a penis or other taboo language, or erotica? Most likely your work will fall somewhere in between.


What I had to do was reread love scenes from some of my favorite novels and pay specific attention to detail. Personally, I found that leaving a little more to my imagination is actually more romantic.  It's like Stephen King says, "there is no monster as frightening as the one in our own head." That's why it takes so long to actually see the monster in the most frightening movies and why reading the book is even more terrifying. YOu simply imagine what it must look like in the same way you imagine what the characters are feeing or doing with very little inuendo.  Let's face it, yada, yada, yada would be boring, but we don't need arrows pasted to the pages with point A inserted into point B either.


That said, what do you think?


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What is the Insecure Writer's Support Group?


Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! See #5 above!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time.

Febrary may be the shortest month of the year, but for those who have lost or parted from a romantic love, it sometimes feels like the longest.  It is at those times, the times when you hurry past the "significant other" Hallmarks at the grocery store, or avert your eyes from all the heart-shaped boxes of candy or red and pink balloons, that you have to hug yourself. Love yourself. Sounds simple, right?

Unforunately, as those who have felt a greater surge of sadness or loneliness since the Christmas decor went up--and when it came down, as that is when they put up the Valentine's ware--know, it is much easier said than done.  

You can't just sit down and instantly think your way to a permanently elevated state of mind or sense of well being. Trust me, I know first-hand. Buck up! Suck it up! or better yet, Plenty more fish in the sea! are not helpful tips. [Are you paying attention family and friends of the broken-hearted?]  Yes, you can try to think happy thoughts and focus on good memories and what you have, not what you lost. You should do that. However, the mind, especially for anyone with ADD, goes where it will, and short-term memories are most readily available. Think on them too long and  they will become long-term memories.  Did you ever consider that? It takes time and diligent focus to keep the sad feelings at bay for any length of time. Happiness as a couple screaming at you wherever you go, the TV, the radio, doesn't make it possible. 

So what are the weary lovelorn to do during hearts and flowers month? Enter exhibit "A," the above picture. Do get out the candles, the bubbles and bubbly. Turn on your go-to, feel-good music. Shake a couple drops of scented oil, burn some incense, or just spritz your favorite fragrance around the room and sink into a hot bath. Aroma therapy is very effective. Now is the time to lay back and recall your favorite places and events, things that make you feel only good, warm and fuzzy. Get in some quality "me" time. Rinse and repeat as needed.

You can also call a friend or relative and go to the movies or dinner. Go shopping, hiking, or biking.  Try to get some outdoor exercise every day. Endorphins make you feel good. If it's too cold where you live, turn to an exercise channel, get out the Wi-Fit or  just crank up the music and dance. You can even slide across the floor in your stocking feet while wearing briefs and a man's shirt if you want to! 

What about a journal? Do you keep one? Perhaps you should. Or even write down what you do each day. Later, read it, recall how you felt during each activity.  Try to repeat the frequency of things that make you feel better and eliminate activities, foods or habits that get you down. This isn't an immediate fix. But if you are focusing on you, on loving yourself, just remember that you're worth it.  It is true that only time heals. With time, even hurts that will never heal become easier to bear.  If you spend that time wisely, practicing self-soothing techniques and activites every day, you may find yourself beginning to have more good days than bad. Hugs & Happy Hearts and Flowers Month. You're all sweethearts.