Love the One You're With...Especially if That Someone is You!

Febrary may be the shortest month of the year, but for those who have lost or parted from a romantic love, it sometimes feels like the longest.  It is at those times, the times when you hurry past the "significant other" Hallmarks at the grocery store, or avert your eyes from all the heart-shaped boxes of candy or red and pink balloons, that you have to hug yourself. Love yourself. Sounds simple, right?

Unforunately, as those who have felt a greater surge of sadness or loneliness since the Christmas decor went up--and when it came down, as that is when they put up the Valentine's ware--know, it is much easier said than done.  

You can't just sit down and instantly think your way to a permanently elevated state of mind or sense of well being. Trust me, I know first-hand. Buck up! Suck it up! or better yet, Plenty more fish in the sea! are not helpful tips. [Are you paying attention family and friends of the broken-hearted?]  Yes, you can try to think happy thoughts and focus on good memories and what you have, not what you lost. You should do that. However, the mind, especially for anyone with ADD, goes where it will, and short-term memories are most readily available. Think on them too long and  they will become long-term memories.  Did you ever consider that? It takes time and diligent focus to keep the sad feelings at bay for any length of time. Happiness as a couple screaming at you wherever you go, the TV, the radio, doesn't make it possible. 

So what are the weary lovelorn to do during hearts and flowers month? Enter exhibit "A," the above picture. Do get out the candles, the bubbles and bubbly. Turn on your go-to, feel-good music. Shake a couple drops of scented oil, burn some incense, or just spritz your favorite fragrance around the room and sink into a hot bath. Aroma therapy is very effective. Now is the time to lay back and recall your favorite places and events, things that make you feel only good, warm and fuzzy. Get in some quality "me" time. Rinse and repeat as needed.

You can also call a friend or relative and go to the movies or dinner. Go shopping, hiking, or biking.  Try to get some outdoor exercise every day. Endorphins make you feel good. If it's too cold where you live, turn to an exercise channel, get out the Wi-Fit or  just crank up the music and dance. You can even slide across the floor in your stocking feet while wearing briefs and a man's shirt if you want to! 

What about a journal? Do you keep one? Perhaps you should. Or even write down what you do each day. Later, read it, recall how you felt during each activity.  Try to repeat the frequency of things that make you feel better and eliminate activities, foods or habits that get you down. This isn't an immediate fix. But if you are focusing on you, on loving yourself, just remember that you're worth it.  It is true that only time heals. With time, even hurts that will never heal become easier to bear.  If you spend that time wisely, practicing self-soothing techniques and activites every day, you may find yourself beginning to have more good days than bad. Hugs & Happy Hearts and Flowers Month. You're all sweethearts.