Urban Fantasy Author
Book Bling Blog
#WEWRIWA, #SundaySnippet, Shadow Walkers--A Short Horror Story by Elizabeth Alsobrooks
Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Sign up below with your name, blog and email and share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet of your writing on Sunday. Your post needs to be live between 12:00 noon on Saturday 06/03/17 and 09:00 AM on Sunday 06/04/17. Visit the other participants on the list and read, critique and comment on their 8sunday posts.
Spread the word, share the love, warriors. Twitter hashtag #8sunday.
Sorry to all for my recent hiatus. I've had out of state visitors, was on vacation, tended to house repairs and maintenance and have been rushing to do lots of catching up. I'm hoping to be back in the swing of it now, and appreciate all who drop by. I have been writing and I'm currently working on a short horror story. I wrote 2 different beginnings, so will post one here and hope for some feedback. . . . So here's a beginning to Shadow Walkers
Bang. Sabina jumped and glanced toward the door. Bang. Bang. Bang. Louder and more urgent with each reverberation of the heavy outer door. The hammering continued. Ding-Ding, Ding-Dong, began the Westminster Chimes that now accompanied the discordant fist-pounding.
“Sabina! Sabina! Let me in!”
6/4/2017 10:18:19 am
That's a lot of sound effects for one paragraph LOL but I'm not sure what I'd suggest...I do get that there's something urgent happening! Welcome back...
6/5/2017 04:28:19 pm
Thanks, Veronica. Good point.
6/5/2017 04:28:56 pm
LOL! True, Aurora.
6/4/2017 10:49:22 am
I don't know if I want her to open that door!
6/5/2017 04:29:44 pm
Good reaction. Thanks, Siren X Star.
6/4/2017 02:40:34 pm
Welcome back -- we missed you. I think I kind of agree with Veronica about the number of sound effects. Maybe you could switch to describing some of them, something like "The visitor pounded frantically, as though they were buried alive and the door was the coffin lid." I'm sure you can do better, but you get the idea.
6/5/2017 04:30:30 pm
Thanks, Ed! Good to be back. Great advice, as always!
6/4/2017 11:38:45 pm
The sound effects don't bother me. I think they add to the sense of urgency and the sense of fear and unknown.
6/5/2017 04:31:45 pm
Thanks, P.T! I don't think you're weird. I think you're a genius for liking my writing! ROTFL!
6/6/2017 07:59:11 am
I wonder who is banging at the door but it sounds pretty urgent.
6/11/2017 04:52:25 am
Right you are, Linda! Thanks for stopping by!
Leave a Reply.
I blog there the 18th of each month!
Elizabeth Alsobrooks's books on Goodreads
Illuminati - The Book of Life
ratings: 12 (avg rating 4.33)
Illuminati: The Book of Life
ratings: 5 (avg rating 4.80)
The Keeper's Secret: Tell-Tale Publishing's Annual Horror Anthology
ratings: 2 (avg rating 5.00)
2016 NaNoWriMo Winner!
My Newest Release
An Amazon Bestseller!
Paranormal, Fantasy, Dystopia and Romance Reade...
This Is A Group for Readers,Writers and Reviewers of All Different Genres. Our Goal Is To Help P...
Books we've read
View this group on Goodreads »
©2014-2021 Elizabeth Alsobrooks. All rights reserved.